Doctors Google, Too

Ever seen House, MD? Move over, Doctor…I too can pop Vicodin like candy. I can be sarcastic and pithy. I can pretend I don’t care about anyone but myself… But I don’t (too often). phew! I did, however, spend many many hours searching for anything on the web with the words “infant” and “lethargy”, in lieu of sleeping (which any self-respecting insomniac will tell you is overrated). Look at all you can accomplish! (And how much sense it makes when you go back to read it.) Actually, I believe Dr. House abhors us commonfolk sniffing around for our own diagnoses, but he wasn’t around to deliver terse messages of diseases of unkown origin, so I did what I could. 

First thing this morning I told Courtland that Michael has infant botulism. He “uh-huh”‘ed me and tuned me out as I spouted all my newfound web knowledge. Mere mortal. Actually, all I was really doing was hoping out loud that that’s all it was. That’s all? As Dad said during one of our phone conversations today, “Who would have thought we’d ever be rooting for botulism?” It’s true. 

Dad called me this afternoon while I was at lunch at CP to let me know that he heard Mikey laugh. laugh! Sweet music to everyone’s ears I am sure. Even the idea of it was sweet music to mine. So Court and I brought food (c/o Sandra) from the restaurant over and saw for ourselves how much better Mikey is doing today. He’s weak, and will be for a very long time, but if in 2 days, when the test results come back, they are positive for botulism, then there is an official diagnosis and a course of action. 

Funny, I have always been such a big fan of inaction, especially when it comes to midday naps and watching entire seasons of Smallville or Buffy in one sitting (not, of course, speaking from experience at all), but these past few days have filled my inactive body and brain with the restlessness of 20 ferretts on crack. Again, not speaking from experience. 

This is not to say that botulism is the diagnosis, because the tests are still pending, but the Neurologist who came in today said she is pretty sure it is botulism and although she is “not perfect”, she has a very good “Batting average and so almost perfect.” I don’t mind almost perfection. I don’t even mind horribly flawed. I just want Erin and Mike to see some light at the end of this very claustrophobic tunnel. I asked her about the chances of re-infection and confessed to my late night surfing, to which she replied, “Doctors Google, Too.” and told us the chance of recurrence is low. That gave everyone a little chuckle. Human doctors are great.  

TLC, Nancy, and Jauntie An read the words on this page and acted upon them. Little baby Mikey, my sister, and my family are all cared about greatly. It certainly is nice to know that. It is also nice to see my family rally together when it’s important. Could make a girl get all warm and fuzzy inside…not that I know that girl, and not that anyone should tell my family about her. 

12:33 am now. Off to Gonzo-land, and then to my favorite place in the world in the afternoon — The Urologist. I know, you wish you were me. Well, too bad. These are my stoned kidneys. You can’t have ‘em! 

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