Archive for April, 2007

The Whaambulance is here

Sunday, April 29th, 2007

Topic number one: Ulcers. Who knew they’d be so horribly ucky?

I read the info. I followed the directions. Take those NSAIDs with food, dammit. So I did. Only thing is sometimes I didn’t (guilty look) and sometimes I took it with milk because milk coats your stomach, right? RIGHT? But then Court said “Uh, Milk coats your stomach for a moment but is mostly an acid…” so d’oh! I’ve been eating Naproxen and Ibuprofin like candy…blue and brownish orange candy that you swallow whole and hopefully don’t taste. And then…it happened. Horrible horrible chest pains. Oh my gosh! Not spasms, just constant…well, burning in my chest…looked like I was feeling myself up. And so I went to bed. BEEEEEEG mistake! Okay so lying down sucks even more for ulcers but works excellently for figuring out what you’re dealing with. Hurts more when you lie dow? Welcome to peptic ulcer land. Have a TUMS.

I called my GP twice and left messages begging for that medication that lets you keep taking your meds without ulceric intervention, but got no response. Maybe she’s mad I didn’t send her a Christmas card. NOT. So in the meantime, I have stopped everything except aspirin. 2 every 4-6 hours. I tell you, it’s just not the same…and here’s why…

Topic Number Two: Orthodontia!!!!

Had an ortho appointment in the ever friendly uppy smiley office of Dr. Quo where the cheek spreaders were brought out again (issues) and another bracket was SCRAPED off my eye tooth (aaaah!) and then, to add to that, they put a chain across both the top and bottom teeth. A chain is not metal as you would imagine. It is a string of those tiny tiny tiny thick bands they put on your braces all stuck together. They hurt. A lot. A lot a lot. Maria, the tech I LOVE even apologised that it was so tight (she’s the one who is so good she gets in and out of there in a heartbeat) as she struggled to get the chain across my HUGE front teeth. She explained that it was much tighter on the top because my top teeth are so much wider than the bottom ones. Are you calling my teeth fat?

I should have had a party before I went in. I should have eaten EVERYTHING and CHEWED it (as well as you can with non-touching molars), but I didn’t. So I was hungry when I left. Interestingly enough, pain can alter your hunger perception so as the pain increased, I was less and less focused on my grumbly tummy. Let’s just say it’s a good thing I didn’t get rid of all the butternut squash soup from pre-chewing post-op. Court even felt really bad for me and made a thick chocolate milkshake. His chubby little Pookie thanks him…and wishes he would maybe come out from his video game room and make me another. *batting eyelashes*

Alright…off to a wedding where I will try not to embarrass my date with my in-awesome chewing skillz. Late!

Bagel Bites For The Win!!!

Saturday, April 21st, 2007

Last night I decided it was time. Time for what? you may ask. Time for Bagel Bites. Dammit.

Court and I journeyed to Costco a couple nights ago and aside from losing my stereo face (I don’t wanna talk about it) it was a good trip. We ate Costco food…I had a polish sausage! It was not pretty to watch, but I ate it. We also split a churro for dessert which was very difficult to maneuver and very messy, but yummilicious just the same. Can you tell my diet theory has been drop kicked into the wind?

So, we got Bagel Bites. And then I drove Court to the airport so he could go galavanting off to Omaha (somewhere in the middle of America, so says Adam Duritz of the Counting Crows) and leave me here to fend for myself against the elements. The elements are, of course, needy whiny cat #1 and diaper wearing needy don’t want her pills cat #2. After a full day of chasing (ok just meandering behind) the diaper wearing Mommy Cat (to remove said diaper when she approached a litter box and of course put it on immediately after box usage), I was pooped and hungry! So I preheated the oven to 450 and while it was heating, contemplated the odds that I could eat what I was about to make.

15 minutes after inserting those frozen goodies into the oven, I faced my demons. Okay. Not really. I had to wait about 15 more minutes until I knew the bagel bites would not stick to the top of my numb mouth and burn me to death. But then…I warmed up the old jaw…couple of pre-insertion stretches…and voila! Bagel Bite in, bitten in half, no big mess…VICTORY!!!!

Having written this post now I’m thinking I should try it again. Teehee. There will be no Bagel Bites left when Court gets home. That’s what he gets for leaving!! *insert evil laugh here* Bwa-hahahaha is a wonderful resource

Thursday, April 19th, 2007

In case I haven’t mentioned it recently, I am indebted to Sandman who runs and who has provided a forum for all the peeps like me who are sick and tired of being sick and tired…and who are doing something (usually drastic) about that.

So thank you thank you thank you.

Here’s what I posted on sleepnet tonight because it’s how I feel, and that is a pretty dang good feeling.

I was at work yesterday when I turned to my coworkers and said “I don’t know if you’ll understand this, but I wish everyone could feel the way I feel right now. Not in the still recovering from surgery sense, but in the oh my gosh I never knew life could be this good sense.” No one could have ever convinced me that life was going to feel so different after this surgery. It’s crazy.
I used to get every cold that walked by, and I would nurse it along for weeks…sometimes just until the next one came along and knocked me down. I always had bruises all over my body, and they took a long time to go away. Well, here’s something cool…what with sleeping FOR REAL now I have an operating immune system…AND since I am not sleep drunk all over the place, I have decreased the number of bruises on my legs from an average of 12 at a time to (lemmee look at my legs and do a bruise count) holy cow. ZERO. I knew Dr. Li was going to turn me into a superhero.

Super Shelby! Able to sleep through entire nights without gasping for air. I’m doing a little dance in my chair right now. YOu can’t see me, but I’m dancin’, Yeah baby!!!

To Yawn or not to Yawn

Friday, April 13th, 2007

Went to see the almighty Dr. Li this week. I sat in the chair at the center of the room and zoned until he popped the door open and boomed “Shelby Cass”. He has a loud voice…I can hear him through the walls. I sat up and said “Hi.” And he busted up laughing.

He kept laughing and said “You should be a celebrity.” I was still very confused because thus far I’d only said hello. Turns out he has a few patients who read my blog and who have told him I am funny. It took about 45 seconds for that information to come out. Dr. Li was just sitting on his stool snickering while I tried to pull the information out of him. For a while he was in on his own little inside joke, having a grand old time.

So, after he got his giggles out, we talked a little about how I am feeling (which is very well) and then he got kind of pensive and serious and said, “Let me ask you something.” And he asked if I noticed a difference between sleep with the CPAP and sleep post surgery without the CPAP. NIGHT and DAY I told him. He was not surprised. He said sleep has to be more than just breathing, and I agreed it has to have something to do with comfort. When I had the CPAP machine strapped to my face, I could breathe, but I was still having struggling dreams. I don’t struggle at night any more. Not at all. Court says I don’t snore and I don’t jerk around all night like I’m being electrified.

I explained to Dr Li, “You know how sometimes in your dreams you have to pee? And you run around through your dreams looking for a toilet and hopefully you wake up before you pee in your bed?” He nodded, then realised what he had acknolwedged and busted up laughing again. But he understood what I was saying. Your external surroundings completely affect your dreams, your state of mind. You could twist up in your sheets and wake up struggling to get free…well imagine having a mask strapped to your face and a strap holding your chin shut and the very audible sound of you breathing through a humidifier. Those dreams weren’t too pleasant. Luckily they never resulted in me wetting the bed.

Homework assignment: Pry my own jaws apart. Well, not so drastic…but use slight pressure and open my jaws wider than they do to stretch those tight little muscles that are making yawning ever so painful so that I yaaaaaawwwwwn and at the very end I always SQUEAK. It’s startling to Court who jumps every time I do it, so hopefully these exercises will help. Hurrah!

On the tooth front: a few teeth have reunited on the right, but not on the left yet. No molar contact. I still swallow things whole-ish and have taken to chomping on the inside of my lower lip (not on purpose, it just jumps in there sometimes). Lips still tingly but mostly just feel dry and not sensitive to wind anymore. Someday I’ll feel everything again. Won’t that be cool?

I believe in the Easter Bunny

Thursday, April 12th, 2007

Easter Sunday found Court and I doing a whole lotta nuthin’, so when my pal Zan called to take me up on my offer to go for a hike to Water Dog Lake (seriously, that’s the best they could come up with?), I shoed up and we went-a-walking. My face was doing great. The wind doesn’t bug me half as much as it used to, and we were gabbing away when I spotted on the trail…a baby bunny! “Ooh! A Bunny!” I cried with glee. And I bounded towards it. Thing is, it didn’t bound away. It hopped once, and sat there. So very itty bity! I picked it up. His ears looked very small for a jackrabbit, and when I looked under him, he was very dirty…he needed his mommy, but she obviously wasn’t around. He was very dehydrated, so I carried him back home.

Zan and I thought it would be funny to leave the bunny at the front door and ring the doorbell and have Court open it to a baby bunny, but after ringing 3 times, we figured he wasn’t going to answer the door, so we used the key. Oh well. It was funny in our minds. bunny


img_2851.jpgWater via syringe. Yummy.

img_2852.jpgAnya would have a heart attack.

img_2857.jpgI like to sit in my water bowl.

img_2858.jpgI called the Humane Society and they sent a big truck all the way to my house to rescue the little guy. We went down to meet them.

img_2864.jpgElevator ride img_2872.jpgAll this for such a little bunny!

img_2873.jpgDirty bits revealed.img_2875.jpg

aw. Little guy gets handed over to the pros.

img_2876.jpgBunny in a boximg_2878.jpg

Bye Bye Bunny!img_2884.jpgSeparation Anxiety.

The woman from the Humane Society said I had done the right thing. I was afraid I had ruined his life and removed him from his habitat. She said, no, he’s dehyrated and lethargic and needs treatment. She also noted his little ears and said he may be domestic and because of his dirty bits, he definitely needed his mommy still. So I am NOT, I repeat, NOT Shelby Bunny Killer. Thank you Easter Bunny! Bawk! Bawk!

I lied

Monday, April 9th, 2007

I am about to officially lost the battle.

Not sure quite what to do about that, and Mommy has developed a very very very bad habit that…well, let’s just say we keep her in the bathroom and follow her around step by step for little “walks” inside the house when she is allowed out of the bathroom. I don’t know what else to do.

Defeat is hard to admit, and I want to know how other people have managed since I know I am not unique in this problem. Ah well. My arms are about to fall off and I don’t think it would be a good idea for me to get an RSI from scrubbing my carpet and squeezing a spray bottle trigger.


Urine-Off For the Win!

Sunday, April 8th, 2007

So, it being a given that I HATE loathe detest can’t stand the smell of CAT, I am happy to announce that Urine-Off works.   Now the room smells like a sterile vet office.  But I will not stop there!!!  I have had Rira almost 10 years and Mommy about 21 and I have never had to deal with something like this before…Needless to say that Court has not let a cat back into his office for fear of locking one in again, but nonetheless, we are making headway. Warning: Do NOT get a blacklight unless you are a masochist. I have been scrubbing lady all weekend and come nightfall I shall shine my blacklight upon the world and either rejoice or crumble into a weeping puddle of Urine-Off. I will prevail!!! (Insert evil laugh here)

I have something to say!

Friday, April 6th, 2007

Come on, tell me.. No, I won’t, you’ll just tell. Well yeah, but so. Tell me!

Okay here is is. I have too much stuff. Now, I would not find it at all offensive if my friends wanted to come by and buy things from me that they would like to have instead of me. I want to have a garage sale…but bigger. What if I organized a bunch of people and did our own flea market sale type thing but that sounds lame. Somewhere where we can invite our friends to come, peruse, have a cup of tea, and leave with the stuff I refuse to give away because I’d rather sell it or keep it.

So I need ideas.

How can I so a big garage sale where many people would come? OR do I have to list everything item by item on craigslist. gah.

I cannot sleep.

I am bored.

I shouldn ‘t have to take a pill, but the pain keeps me up when I roll from side to side…which I seem to do ad nauseum. hrmph. I feel like a fat marshmallow. I guess I’ll globby roll my way off this chair onto the no-blacklight clean floor. The blacklights are evilevilevil oh my gosh there were so many spots to clean! I need a bath. Too bad it’s full of cat litter.


Holy Flying Chair, Batman!

Thursday, April 5th, 2007

Did I mention the movie theater adventure I had about 1 month post-op? The guy threw his foot over the chair and booted me in the head? Well, that ruled out movie theaters for me for a while. Now I feel work isn’t even safe!

I had a client sit in a tall chair. I wanted her to lower it, so I asked her to do so. I leaned forward from behind her when she asked, “which lever is it?” and suddenly the whole chair jerked forward and caught the undeerside of my chin on the left side. Oh! Stars!!!!! The seat pan tilt stop was not on, so she kind of just ejected the chair forward. I tried to finish the eval without crying, but I did mention to her I was not feeling all that hot after the face slam. When the eval was over, off to the med cabinet, got to break the cold pack (not as fun when it’s for your throbbing face), and poured 4 anti-inflammatory-type things down my throat. What’s next? Flying babies? I’m going to bed.