Operation Birthday Suit

Okay campers, here’s the dish. Went to see the lovely Dr. Li yesterday and before I could get into the exam room, I was accosted by a woman with X-Ray gear attached to her head and a big x-ray blocking bib. She gave me a big braces grin (twins!) and introduced herself, then asked me to meet her mom. I was kind of reeling. Someone I did not know was excited to meet me, and wanted to introduce me to their mother? She obviously had the wrong person, but I wasn’t going to say anything. But no, we quickly established that I am Shelby Cass blogger of sleep apnea joy (aka Dreamette on sleepnet.com) and then Dr. Li got really super pissed off and dropped some ninja moves on us to get her back into x-ray and me back into my exam room.

(Not really, but can’t you see it?)

Anyhow, I settled into my chair and Dr. Li asked how I was doing and I said, “You’re going to be mad at me.” “I’m never mad at you” encouraged Papa Li. I sighed. “Okay then disappointed.” He gave me a funny side of the head twisted smile look that said “whatever” and said he looked forward to my visits because they made him laugh. Aww! So I told him I had not gone to PT as per his instructions. Lo and behold, he didn’t drop kick me out of his office. Instead, he asked me to open my mouth and wiggle my jaw (again I was reprimanded about moving my lips and not my jaw side to side – hey now, I got it right eventually!) and then sat back on his toadstool and said I was doing fine.

Fine? What?! I expressed my shock at this statement since other people had told me their jaws were opening MUCH wider than mine only a few months post surgery and here I was 7.5 months post and having graceful banana eating issues.

Dr. Li got his “Poor poor Shelby, let me teach you a thing or two and I’ll talk slowly so you may understand some of it” look. He got out his cool metal mouth opening measuring tool and we eeked 26mm out of it. He then told me that people are able to function pretty normally with 30-35mm. I was still bummed about my seeming lack of progress, but then he told me that because I had such a small jaw to start with, and he had moved it SO MUCH, it made sense that it would still be this stiff (ligaments all stretched an whatnot) and I’m doing fine.

If the doc says, I will believe.

I do have to do much gentle stretching…oh that was one thing…he didn’t like that when I tried to stretch things I caused myself pain. He said NO PAIN. Liking him more and more. When he tells me I have to eat donuts on a regular basis, I will propose.

Speaking of donuts… Enter a new phase in the life o’me: Operation Birthday Suit. I have a friend (who will be hereto referred to as Smartass) whose birthday is also in October. We have both been thinking (read:lamenting) a lot about how much better clothing fit say 15 pounds ago, and have entered a phase in our lives when action will definitely speak louder and probably benefit our bodies a lot more…so we decided to lose the weight. Our goal? 10 pounds by October. Our reward should we meet this goal? $10/per pound and a little jaunt to the mall (or something) for some skinny clothes. Caveat: We must both meet the goal for the field trip to happen. We typically IM each other throughout the course of the day updating snack history and sending bits of “don’t touch that it’s EVIL” encouragement.

I told Dr. Li about Operation Birthday Suit and he cracked up. He said “So your goal is to lose weight until you can stand to look at yourself in your birthday suit.” Sure. Why not. And then he said, “Or when Court likes you in yor birthday suit” and I said “Court LOVES me just the way I am” (or something like that) and Dr. Li chuckled and said “Yes, yes. I know.” Was that a hint of patronization? Grrr. I couldn’t help myself, I blurted “I lost 5 pounds!” And his immediate response was “Yes! And you look 5 pounds lighter.” Then he got an evil look in his eye and said “Tell you what, I want to see you at the end of this Operation Birthday Suit. Why don’t you make your next appointment around there? If you are still having trouble with your jaw we can do a little PT then.” You’re on. NOTE: There will be no viewing of my birthday suit. If I’m so hot I can’t stand it, I will wear a bathing suit. hahahha. I’d advise againt breath holding.

And so I leave you with a pep talk between me and Smartass:

-Shelby Cass
Think of the skinny clothes you could buy with that money in 2 months

I know
I’m not good with delayed gratification though

-Shelby Cass
me neither.
I suck at it.
I had bacon on my turkey sandwich yesterday

heh, me too

-Shelby Cass
but I did NOT have a scoop of cookie dough which is taunting me from the fridge.
Good thing the chocolate chips hurt my jaw to chew

maybe I need to get punched in the face so it’s harder for me to eat

-Shelby Cass
no, I’m thinking not.

yeah, that’s probably not a good idea

-Shelby Cass
Remember, I paid someone 50,000 to break my jaw and I STILL gained weight.


Peace out!

2 Responses to “Operation Birthday Suit”

  1. Kim says:

    Shelby, you’re too much. =) Funny girl. Good luck with Operation Birthday Suit. IM buddy-ing sounds like a smart idea. It’s always when you think no one’s looking that the junk food calls the loudest. (Says the candy addict.)

  2. Brandy says:

    Hey Shelby,
    Sounds like Dr Li was nice to you today! Maybe he read your blog about how you were expecting him to chastize you and decided to tone it down a notch LOL. I think it was wweet that he said he looks forward to your visits cause you make him laugh. He sees you a lot more then my os sees me. Mine saw me at 1 week post op, 1 month, and 2 months. Then told me I didn’t need to come back again til October when he plans to cut me open again to put in my implant post.

    I think he only likes to see me when he gets to abuse me. Truthfully I love my OS though. Glad to hear you are right on track with your progress though. I think Dr Li is probably right. I mean my advancement was much smaller then yours, so it makes sense that I would have less trauma and recover my ROM faster. Ya know…that is what they pay him the big bucks for, so I’m with you, I would trust him and take what he says as gospel! :)

    So the birthday suit diet sounds great! It’s always nice to have support and someone else trying to do it with you. Hey if it works for you then how can it be bad?

    Good luck and keep us posted……Not you birthday suit pics or anything, that would be “Way too much info” LOL.. but do let us know how its going. I’m still trying to lose also, it is hard. Feel like I”m hungry all the time! I’m determined to get there though…even if it takes me a year!


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