Archive for September, 2007

Nitty Gritty

Wednesday, September 26th, 2007

So here’s something interesting. Ever since the rubber-banding of my teeth together, I have not had jaw pain. Since the surgery I find that every time I think about it, I am completely clenching my jaw…and it no feel so good. I’ve been in kind of deep headachey jaw pain mode since the surgery, and now…despite the braces issue (which is NOTHING compared to the jaw ache), I have NONE. No pain. I sleep better. I wonder if they’ll let me keep these… Uh okay not really. I’d like my lips back. But oh my GOODNESS! It feels so good. I’m gunna do the head-bobby no-pain dance. It does involve the shoulders, but it feels so gooooood.

What a difference a day makes…

Tuesday, September 25th, 2007

Do you remember those sexy C&R commercials? Oh boy, I wanted me a fireman. okay anywho…

So yesterday I was guy smiley…until smiling became not my friend and my lips formed an odd attachment to hooks and…well, don’t click on this picture if you don’t want to see extreme ick closeup.

no smilenotice the LACK of smile

So taking the bands on and off is NOT an option since it takes me and my butterfingers at least 10 minutes to try and try again to get every single tooth hooked…and obviously the corners of my mouth are not happy with that game either.

The good news is (and yes, there is always good news) that Operation Birthday Suit is progressing in leaps and bounds (thank you sick diet!) and I am very very close to my OBS goal. I fit into another pair of pants that have been collecting dust since Operation Cake A Day, and I believe I weigh less than my boyfriend. Awesome!!!!

So, have a good evening. Eat something. Chew and revel in the chewiness.

OR-tho-dontia! Ortho-dontia, Ortho-dontia (sung to tune of Hallelujah)

Monday, September 24th, 2007

Oh Dr Quo how I do love thee, despite the pain thou dost inflict upon me. I can’t help it. She’s so sweet! And everyone who works there is an angel, so I LOVE going…but I don’t so much love how I feel for a few days afterwards. Always a trade. Kind of like this kidney infection sucked big time, but since any pressure on my kidney from my stomach caused immediate pain/pukeage I had to eat much less and consequently got down to 151.5 for a moment!!!! That means I’m down 10 pounds!!! Hooray sick diet!

So this is what the good Dr. Quo did to me today:
rubber bands

One full week of this she says, but after 3 days I shouldn’t hurt as much. As much? Well, she explained with a kind of apologetic pained expression that my teeth were going to hurt A LOT…possibly more than they did when I FIRST GOT BRACES. Wow. I knew I should have eaten breakfast. By the time I got to work the throbbing in the head had begun and I couldn’t get pills into my mouth without un-banding (which I didn’t want to do). My boss and co-workers are wonderful and supportive and told me to get the H out of there since my job is talking and that wasn’t working well. I did some work, came home, and got some pain meds down. I’m just going to say this is all for the best and at least it’s all happening in one big fat chunk instead of sporadically. Right?

Ooh, here’s some fun news. Court bought me Guitar Hero the 80’s edition. Rock on sistah! I REALLY didn’t like the music on the first one…too heavy…hurt my head. But my new friend Lisa showed me the song list on the 80’s version (How can you say no to “Turning Japanese” and anything Oingo Boingo?), so I sat my butt down and rocked it. Mochi helped.mochi shelby guitar heromochi shelby guitar hero 2mochi shelby guitar hero 3

On a less pleasant note, I have officially confirmed my suspicions that the smell of leather makes me VERY nauseated, especially in a car, or probably any confined not extremely ventilated space.  Add a the stop start stop start of traffic, and you’ve got me tossing my cookies on the side of the highway.  That’s hot.  NOT!  Friday night it was raining, my friend Lisa picked me up, and the second I got into her car I felt REALLY bad. Leather seats have always been a problem for me, but I think since Dr. Li fixed my deviated septum and gave me ultra super smell power +5, it’s just plain unbearable. I wonder what that is. Allergy? On the one hand, I’m thrilled to be breathing better, but on the other, I had uber sensitive scent picking-uping nose before, and the more air in with each inhale thing makes stinky times EXTRA STINKY. I was hypnotized once by The Amazing Alexander. He told me his breath smelled like a rose and I couldnt’ get close enough. Then he told me his breath was horrible and foul and I gagged and almost uked on him and he had to quickly tell me the smell was gone. Maybe I need to get hypnotized to not be bothered by smells because Court is severely bummed now since the he was hoping his next car would have leather seats.

What to do…what to do… For now I think I’ll just concentrate on healing everywhere. Maybe if I get really in shape I’ll just run alongside the new leather-seated car. hahhaah

Loungin’ with mah kitteh

Friday, September 21st, 2007

img_41461.jpgJust thought it was time for a picture.

The World’s Shortest Fairy Tale…sent to me by a dear friend

Wednesday, September 19th, 2007

World’s Shortest Fairytale

Once upon a time, a guy asked a girl, “Will you marry me?”
The girl said “No” and she lived happily ever after and went shopping,
drank martinis with friends, always had a clean house, never had to
cook, had a closet full of shoes and handbags, stayed skinny, and was
never farted on.

The End.

Kidney Stones: The Final Frontier…(or something)

Wednesday, September 19th, 2007

Turns out bloody urine will get you antibiotics every time.  NOT

Okay, here is, hopefully, the last entry in a looooong time about my kidneys.  But unfortunately, probably not my last lament re: healthcare.

Today is Wednesday the 19th of September.  I have been nauseated for a few weeks, but let’s chalk that up to your friendly neighborhood BCP (girls will know what that is) and pretend that was not a symptom of my pending kidney infection (which I found out yesterday I have!  Shocker).  So 2 weeks ago I had familiar left flank pain that increased with deep inhales and extreme bending.  I thought that meant that when my lungs inflated and put pressure on my inflamed kidney, I had soreness/pain.  Then I passed some stones and thought hey, get to the doc and get some antibiotics for the infection that ALWAYS follows the passing of my stones, but the doc didn’t believe I even had stones (until the CT revealed them) and didn’t bother to have the urine cultured, just did the dip test and threw it away.  Who cares that I have one of the classic UTI symptoms: increased frequency and urgency to urinate…oh and the pain, but who cares about that.

So I went to another doctor, hopefully to get antibiotics for the kidney infection I was PRETTY SURE I had…but that urinalysis was only BORDERLINE and they had to grow a culture for 5 days (took on Friday).  On Sat I got that lovely telltale (and very familiar) malodorous urine for which I got to go in and give another cup of pee to culture, and as we all know, by Tuesday morning I was peeing blood.  Which I take as a bad sign.  Right?

So I got my antibiotics injected into my hip and picked up my prescription for Cipro and went to meet a new urologist this morning…a meeting the doctor yesterday set up for me.  Guess what I got to do in a little cup when I got there?  And then I met my new doctor…whom I don’t think I will keep around much.  Here’s what he said:
1. I think the flank pain is a coincidence and is more muscular-skeletal than kidney-related.  So we’re not going to think about that.

2.  Your urine looks better today so you are getting better.

3.  Here is your CT.  See these stones?  They are tiny.

And I had a few questions for him:
Q: How can it be a coincidence that every time I get a kidney infection I get this same exact flank pain preceding the bloody urine?

A: *shrug* What you’re describing isn’t stone pain.

Q: I know. It’s KIDNEY pain.

A: It’s not a symptom.

Q: How can I get faster help next time?  Why did it take 3 urine tests and then finally bloody urine to get treatment?

A: Bad luck.

Q: Bad luck?  Well, let’s just assume I have bad luck all the time, are you going to treat me sooner next time?

A: We’d have to do a culture.

Q: Or I just have to wait to pee blood to get treated?
A: Peeing blood isn’t bad.  it happens to everyone.

Q: So let me get this straight.  You think I psychically predicted I was getting a kidney infection and it had nothing to do with actually FEELING PAIN?

A: *shrug* (Looking straight into my eyes) yes.

I’m out.

I’m going to beach and moon here (now that I pee blood)

Tuesday, September 18th, 2007

I don’t get it.

So…how long has this kidney thing been going on?  Let’s just say for the sake of argument that it has only been really happening for about a week now.

I have pain.

I pass stones.

I still have pain.

I go to the doctor who says I have no stones and pacifies me by ordering a CT scan which shows…what’s that you say?  Stones?  No!  Say it isn’t so!

I pass more stones (really more like sand but who’s arguing?).

I continue to have pain, and go to a new doctor who orders blood and urine tests which, according to PAMF online, were read on the 14th.

The only thing flagged on the CBC said:

  Neutrophil % 54 L (59 74) %

The Urinalysis culture flagged items said:

  Urine Leukocyte Esterase 1+ A (NEG)
Urine Protein Trace A (NEG)

I have no idea what this means.

Meanwhile…over the weekend I felt a little better and then…the stinky pee.  We’ll call it malodorous urine (MU) so it sounds nice and technical.  Now I’ve had this MU before.  A few times actually. And when I go to the doctor’s they all want a sample and then say I’m fine.  Continuing with the MU and no antibiotics has, in the past, resulted in what I like to call Urine in my Blood.  Grossiolo.

Anywho…I called the doc this morning to see if I could hear what those results meant and to let them know about the MU, and her assistant said the test results weren’t back (???but they were online) and since I was having pain still and the MU, the doctor would like another urine test.  Um.  Okay.  So I went…read a book in the waiting room (I understand the labs are busy, but I waited over an hour to pee in a cup), and went home to wait…and wait…but the results still aren’t posted and now…UGH Urine in my Blood.  And pain.  And 99.4 temp (I run really low usually, like 96).

So I called the doc and the on call woman (whom I had woken up at 5 am) said “You should probably make an appointment to see your doctor today.”  Ya think? Except my doc is not in today…but I will call at 7 (only 48 more minutes) and make my appointment and maybe, just maybe, someone will put me on antibiotics AT LAST.

So my question is, why does no one listen to me when I say this has happened many times before?  Do people really lie so much that doctors dismiss everything that comes out of their patients’ mouths?  Why do I have to wait through pain pain pain until I can squeeze some blood out of my bladder before anyone believes me?

The think that pisses me off the most is that I have not been to work in a week and I honestly, except for the pain and discomfort, thought I was faking it.  I thought maybe I had pulled a muscle in my back (which the doctor also entertained) and was a horrible wuss bucket.  I thought I was imagining all my symptoms…geeeeeeze…I’ve been mentally berating myself 24/7.  “If you’re home, you may as well do something useful like clean” and then I’d be tired and in pain and would sleep all day and feel like a big fat slacker.  I felt like I WANTED to be sick…because I didn’t want to go to work…but I didn’t want to go to work because I was feeling HORRIBLE.  I Like work.  I love my job.  I don’t like being in pain and afraid of the next bout of pain…

Okay now I’m just plain rambling.  Thank you oxycodone.  I thought our days were over, but it seems we shall be close again for a spell…but not too long since you like to clog up all my pipes.  40 minutes til the doctor’s office opens!  Grrr….arg.

I think my back teeth touch!!!

Tuesday, September 18th, 2007

I don’t think it’s a complete match on the very back laft molars, but I did the chompy dance for Court the other night…  The chompy dance is where you chomp your teeth together so people can hear but you do it with a big smile and bob your head and pick a catchy beat.

Jaws are still extremely stiff and I know I  just sit around and clench 24/7 but…my teeth touch!  Celebration!!!!!

Rock Gardens Suck

Monday, September 17th, 2007

I suppose I should be grateful that this is the first stone incident I have had in 2 years, whereas previously I was a stone a year kind of girl. But 2 weeks? Come on. I’ve been ready to pretend this is gone for a while, but it keeps coming back insisting it’s not. Bastard. Oh no, let me correct thtat. I love my kidney My body is awesome. It keeps ticking even through the pain…good body….but next time do better! :P

I have a new doctor and that helps. The first doctor I went to said that since there was no blood in my urine, I probably didn’t have a stone. I could only look at her blankly since she had no clue what she was talking about. Being a stone veteran I know that blood is a way to confirm the presence of a stone, but it is not always present so is no way to rule one out. She kept repeating that I probably didn’t have a stone since there was no blood and I seriously think she expected me to change my plea. You’re right doctor, you got me. I don’t have a stone, I just love pressing my hand against my back and walking slowly and missing work and having moments of excruciating pain. Or better yet, I have no pain, since I have no stone. Thanks for curing me. GRRR. So she offers me Toredol. I think that is souped up aleve. Didn’t do a thing. Okay I hurt now so I can’t continue my rant. Needless to say I got a new doc who actually took a HISTORY and who will be calling any minute with my test results and hopefully some antibiotcs for the UTI that inevitably follows the passing of the stones, just for good measure.

Wanted: Kidney Drain-o

Monday, September 10th, 2007

Kidney stones suck.

Last night I birthed a little sandbox and the pain is still here intermittently so I am hitting the bottle (of pain meds) and pushing fluids.  Here comes a whole mess of unpleasant.  You would think they could be pretty or shiny or worth something after all this crap.  But no.  It’s something you see in the bottom of the toilet and after a dozen or so encounters (such as I’ve had) flush.

Too bad my sleep apnea didn’t cause those puppies.  Or maybe it did, but I still have my not-so-zen rock garden holding court in both (BOTH?!?!) kidneys.  It’s called bi-lateral renal calculi.  Sounds like math, doesn’t it?  I hate math.

When the Kidney Stone Fairy first gifted me I was in college and I honestly had the thought “So this is what it’s like to die alone.” Since then I’ve threatened security guards (in hopes that they would listen to my cries of “Shoot me in the head!”), and whimpered my way through many an ER.  I’m no hero.  I’m a super wuss.  The past few weeks I have had left-sided kidney pain so I know this guy’s been celebrating his way down my ureter, but I also knew (with dread) that the place these guys tend to stop their journey is right before my bladder where there is scar tissue from all the ones who have passed (on their own or Dr. assisted) before.  It’s like every stone that came by tagged my sphincter (heheh I got to write sphincter and I wasn’t talking about my back door!).  I imagine a couple cave man drawings, some prophesies, and a backwards swastika.  Must be a great place to hang and chill for a while, since EVERYONE DOES IT.

Okay my drugs have kicked in.

We’re gunna rock rock rock rock it inside out….make you scream and shout…yup, that song was all about kidney stones.  I know it.