Shelby Cass's Weblog

Here are Days 1-4 on Flickr.  http://www.flickr.com/photos/20359758@N06/sets/

I’ll get the rest up again once I sort out the .Mac MobileMe thing stuff a ma jig.

Last week was a very sad week for me.  My leopard gecko, Dude, developed some pretty nasty abscesses that needed surgery.  Courtland and I looked up the lifespan of leopard geckos and what we found was that they live “into their teens” typically.  Well, I had had Dude for 11 years and before that he had belonged to my friend David T. from whom I had purchased Dude (then named Bibo) when his son got a dog and the gecko wasn’t getting much love.  It wasn’t until after all this that I asked David how old he thought Dude/Bibo was.  We actually think the number is somewhere around 14.  Anyhow, even with the estimated 13 years of age I gave the vet, he thought surgery was the best option.  I had actually gone in thinking that Dude was looking so bad he would be put to sleep, but that option was not even offered to me, so I went ahead with the *gulp* $500 procedure.  ON A LIZARD.

But this was Dude.  He was the coolest gecko ever.  He would look outside his terrarium and watch us (cats included).  Sometimes he’d wiggle up the side of his cage and show us his belly.  He got an eye infection once a few years ago and the vet told us he was a she…Dudette?  So the past few years we’ve been trying to say “she” but still called her Dude…and then found out this last week that SHE was, indeed a HE as first presumed.  If you were holding Dude and ran your finger under his chin, he would stick out his tongue.  Every time.  So rad.

On Thursday evening I picked Dude up from the vet.  He was looking much better without the huge abscess on the side of his head/jaw, but he was not moving much and I can only imagine he was in a world of pain.  I didn’t like how the vet assisstant picked him up and flipped him over to show me his stitches.  I didn’t need to see them, and I really didn’t think Dude needed to be flipped over and handled after having 4 incisions made on his little gecko body.  I honestly think that’s when he turned for the worse.  I got him home, put him in his little sauna, and monitored the heat in his cage all night.  At one point he moved his head and backed up a little.  I had a horrible feeling he was trying to turn over (the way lizards turn over when they die) but lacked the strength.  He never moved again.

In the morning I called the vet and told them he hadn’t made it.  I’m actually really unhappy with how everything was handled.  I felt like such a monster for even considering not doing the surgery and putting him to rest, and they were not supportive of that option…and now they have my $500 and I don’t have a gecko.  I’m bummed.

Bye bye Dude!  I’ll miss you, little guy!

…when shall they two meet again…

Thursday was spent on the road.  All day.  Driving.  Well, I stopped to get out of the car in 1 hour incriments (1 hour evaluation in Los Gatos, 1 hour lunch with Max in Milpitis, 1 hour evaluation in Sunnyvale and 1 hour in the chair with my fave cheek spreaders at Orthodontist’ office).  I left home at 9am and got home-ish (stopped at Safeway) at 5.  Only 2 billable hours for that day, and sad sad news for my back molars.

You know how last time I was at the ortho I complained that my back teeth weren’t touching and after many many bite and grinds on the carbon paper the ortho feedback was: it’s just one spot, we can build the tooth up?  THEN when I went to Dr. Steve my DDS he said Uh no, those teeth are nowhere near touching and we can’t build a tooth up that high?  Remember?  I do.  I remember wondering why my ortho would lie to me…or deceive me…also wondered if she was blind.  Well, I wore that newfangled bottom retainer every day and night for months to fill in my gaps, and I went in for my follow up hoping for either good news or an acknowledgement of oversight.  There I was, sitting in the chair doling out ergo advice to the techs (have you ever seen an ergo friendly ortho exam room?) and here comes Dr. Quo.  She’s so cute.  But I reminded myself I was not going to be overpowered by her charms.  I was going to get to the bottom of this life of chewing on only one side.

She looked in my mouth, checked out how my retainers fit, and AGAIN said I needed just one spot addressed to get contact on the back left side.  She (like last time) noted there was a filling in that back bottom molar and that perhaps someday when I got that filling replaced they could build up the composite, but I had already asked Dr. Steve about that and he didn’t think my filling needed replacing for many years.  I was not willing to wait many years.  There was much ahhhing and oh yesing as I explained how horrible life was with the inability to make it even (do you make it even?  I like to chew things equally on both sides…don’t judge me.).  Dr Quo suggested a “turbo”.  A turbo is when they build up many many layers of composite on a tooth to essentially build the tooth up.  I had one before during the post-op my teeth are strangers phase.  So the cheek spreaders were again applied had I known they were coming I would have taken pix (because everyone needs their vanity taken down 1800 notches) and  a lump of composite was deposited onto the top of my bottom left molar.  Then Dr. Quo drilled and drilled and I chomp chomp grinded on the contact paper and she drilled more until I felt pretty even contact back there…                    oh but not quite.  DOH!

I asked to see a mirror and looked in my mouth and lo and behold there was still a very large gap between back top and back bottom molars (see pic from last entry).  My head did not spin, but my mind reeled as I wondered how on EARTH can she be talking to me about these teeth meeting when they clearly are not and are never at this rate going to?!?!  I asked, “So, that gap back there between the back two molars…”  and she interjected.  “Oh.  No.  Those will probably never meet.  After moving your jaw, that’s just how your teeth want to be.”  (Stupid willful teeth)  So evidently she knew long ago that those teeth would never meet and so didn’t talk about them anymore.  When she talked about teeth meeting, she was talking about the second to last molar on the top and the back molar on the bottom.  That 3 decade love afair between top and bottom back molars has come to an end.  And there you have it.  A tale.  Told by an idiot, full of sound and fury.  Signifying nothing.

Blarg.

Here we are again, talking about my teeth.  Really the only annoying ongoing problem post MMA (aside from the numbness, but that’s not really too annoying).  Why a problem?  Well, I personally like symmetry.  I like to chew my food equally on both sides.  If I have M&Ms or something small like that, I eat 2 at a time.  One for each side.  Symmetry, OCD, call it what you will, I prefer to chew that way…and since my surgery, that has not been able to happen.  grr.  argh.

When I first got my braces off I commented on the unequal feeling back in molar-land, and my ortho said my teeth would likely still move a little and not to worry.  So I didn’t.  But it’s been awhile now.  A too long while for me to be satisfied…and so I angst my irk here.  For you.

Here’s where I am in orthodontia: The retainer they gave me for the bottom had hooks that looped over my teeth to hold it in place.  Those hooks, unfortunately, started pushing my teeth apart and I got little gaps.

I’ve already been wearing the new retainer to correct that for a couple weeks so the gaps are not as pronounced.  In case you can’t see it in these pix, it’s where the bubble of spit is on the left picture (so rad, I know).   sorry.  In other words, the gaps occured between the teeth that some would call canines (though mine be none so pointy anymore) and the first molar-y looking ones.  What did you want me to say?  Eye tooth and first bicuspid?  Okay I said it.

So they made me a new retainer.  This one actually encases all of my bottom teeth within one piece of plastic with springs to pull the teeth back together.

While I was in getting this retainer, I commented (again) how my back teeth didn’t touch on the left side.  Once again the little pieces of carbon paper were inserted and once again I was instructed to chomp chomp chomp and grind…and I was assured that I was crazy (okay she didn’t say crazy)  and that my teeth did touch.  I also mentioned the numbness I am still experiencing in my gums and teeth, and then that was blamed for my crooked feeling.  But I know that’s not true.  I mean, yes, I am crazy…but no, my teeth do not touch at all evenly on the back left.  Here, judge for yourself and tell me how the carbon paper touched…I’m pretty sure it didn’t.

I went to see Dr Steve my dentist (he looks a little like my boyfriend and has a Shelby of his own) who was about to do the carbon paper thing for me (I felt he was unbiased but skilled in the carbon paper test) when he put the cute little dentist mirror back there and said, “Uh Shelby, I don’t need carbon paper.  Those teeth don’t touch.”  SEE!  Told you!!!  So I’m feeling miffed…but I do have to say that I didn’t peek back there before getting the new retainer so things may have changed.  HOWEVER: they do not feel different.  So I think this is how it has looked all along and I am … irritated?  Yes, that.

But from the front all looks good, and maybe that’s all people really care about (unless they are me and craving a meetup between upper and lower molars).

ta-da  (Just don’t try to chew on that back left side)

I’m also experiencing a little clickity clickity in the right jaw joint which I think is occuring because I chew everything on the right and non-purposely try to make the left molars touch by moving my jaws around (which doesn’t work, but for some reason I notice sometimes I am doing it and I stop when I notice, but still…it happens).

Okay have I ranted enough?

Here’s a little non-ranting story:  Dr. Steve wanted to make sure I was flossing and I told him I have a huge bag of those pre-flossed picks and I floss while I am driving.  He broke in and said “I’m glad you’re flossing but I can’t condone practicing oral hygeine and driving…”  I said, “I don’t look in the mirror or anything and he said “Oh…” and then I thought, did he think I was driving with my mouth open, chin back, and eyes on the rearview mirror peering into  my mouth?  I suppose I could have been.  But no, I just kind of mindlessly use that little pick thing… Geeze, now I feel like a bad driver…but I swear I’m not distracted!  I think I’m more distracted putting on chapstick (and no I don’t look for that either).  I’ll stop now before the non-ranting story turns into a rant.  Wouldn’t want that.

Next entry we’ll talk numbness.  Everyone’s favorite subject.

Dad got a new truck.  This is awesome for so many reasons.  Selfishly I think it is awesome because he could come visit me today (we’ve been visiting him since his last truck went kerpoot since he’s been driving a huge rental moving truck which sucks for gas mileage and parking ANYWHERE).  We got to chatting as we do, and he mentioned his new truck seat was giving him some trouble in the low back area.  He mused out loud that I may be able to do something in the way of help, but then wrote that thought off immediately.  But I heard him…and the brain wheels were a spinnin’.  Okay not spinnin’.  Clicking slowly?  Did I mention he came over so we could go to brunch?  This was pre-food and only one coffee into the day.

We walk down to his truck…new used truck…no bells or whistles which fits Dad just fine, but no seat adjustments either, which made me have to use my brain even more.  I was thinking I’d have fun with levers and knobs, but instead I was left with one 6’4″ body and one truck seat moved all the way back with 6’4″ body knees coming slightly above hips.  Now, if you’ve ever listened to my ergo spout (the thing below my nose), you know that one of the first things you must do when sitting down is to make sure your knees are at or slightly below your hips.  I looked at my poor dad’s lumbar spine which was being pulled forward by his pelvis (which was being pulled forward by his hamstrings) and knew what I had to do.

I quickly walked to my toolbox (aka my car) and pulled 2 seat wedges out of my trunk.  My friend Duncan had purchsed them online and they didn’t do the trick he needed so he’d given them to me guessing I would run into someone in need of them sooner than he would.  Smart Duncan.  I threw one seat wedge on (Dad hesitated and thought maybe it was more hassle than it was worth), but as soon as he sat down, he sighed “OH.  I think this might work.”

*joy*

I’m never one to assume my first pass was the right/only one, so we drove to breakfast (about 15 minutes), and when we took a turn he sighed again.  “Yeah.  This works.”  Evidently, turns were a big aggravator.  So I am so happy.  I helped my dad and he said “Turns out you DO know what you’re talking about (sometimes)”.  Yeah baby.  Yeah.

I know you missed them.

http://web.me.com/cidstrom/Sleep_Apnea_Surgery/Day_1.html

It’s been 2 years and 2 months since my surgery.  Absolutely amazing.  Just looking back at these pictures it’s extraordinary where I was and where I am now.  I feel like I got the gift of life…  I’m not a different person.  I’m still the same old Shelby.  But I think I am the better non-sick version and that is something I didn’t even know was going to happen going into this.  I just thought I wouldn’t look like Gonzo at night anymore.

As I write this I am at my sister’s house in Dublin (no, not Ireland) taking care of her two kids for a week…more than a week actually.  I moved in on Thursday afternoon (it’s Wednesday night right now), they left Friday night, and will be home (from Belize) this coming Saturday night after midnight.  In a million years I could not have imagined taking care of a 3 1/2 year old and a 15 month old for a week+ on my own…I couldn’t imagine having kids of my own would be really all that possible with how crappy my immune system was and how tired I was even on my best day.

Now, I’m not signing up for the baby wagon just yet.  I think my clock is unplugged or on mute, and that’s just fine.  I mean, after all, I just started sleeping.  Why would I voluntarily give that benefit away so soon?  I hear it takes a long time to make up sleep debt…and I have a lot of it.  Sweet, sweet sleep.  I owe, I owe, so off to sleep I go!  However, big drawback to finding out what a good night’s rest REALLY is?  Take any of that away and I am a GRUMPMEISTER!  Steer clear of the modern-day sleep-deprived Shelby.  Now she KNOWS it could be better…and you will PAY! 

Sleep well!

smac