Shelby Cass's Weblog

I went to work today. Can I tell you how difficult it was to get up this morning? Well, it was. Oh my gosh. The more I thought about going to work, the less motivation I had to get up. So, of course I ran late since once up I have a myriad of tasks to perform.

Morning ritual:

1. Get up
2. Go to bathroom (do bathroom things and emerge very damp)
3. <—— Longest part: Get dressed as few times as possible and try not to cry at large reflection…good thing most mirrors are fogged up from shower
4. Give Mommy pill
5. Give Mommy 1 spoonful wet food heated in microwave 15 seconds (first wash previous day’s plate)
6. Put scoop of dry food in each cat’s bowl
7. Scoop litter box (oh yeah that’s a pleasant good morning)
8. Make some sort of food for myself
9. Take naproxen and vitamins
10. Hope keys are in purse, get purse, throw baby food du jour in purse, go to car

Visually that doesn’t seem like much, but when I am about to dash out of bed and try to get to my car asap, I have to add that extra 20 minutes of mandatory prep. I forget that every day. Hence, tardy. However. I had built in a big fat buffer for myself. So I was technically A-Okay except when I got in my car…well, people just ganged up on my and got in their cars too and it was raining and the metering lights were on and human drivers just get on my nerves expecially when they are on the phone without a headset and it’s raining and there’s traffic and people zig and zag and water is involved and all I want to do is get to work in under 40 minutes and it JUST DIDN’T happen for me today with the world traveling at an average of 40mph.

On top of it all, I forgot my badge and had to park next to an idiot who decided his right wheels belonged on the RIGHT side of the white line…and you may ask why I parked there and I will answer that it was the only spot in the lot (because of the moron parking job) and I was about to be LATE on a day when I was going to be EARLY. I washed the moron’s car with my new pants butt as I squoze past, and had a fight with both my and his sideview mirrors who laughed at me when I approached and reflected at me that I should see before attempting that I was rather large to attempt THAT squeeze. But I did it. So there. And I now have a new pair of wet drying rags in which I walked in the rain to a far away building to trade my driver’s license for a contractor day badge before making an apprearance in the ergo lab for the first time since before my surgery There was a line at security. WHy?!?!?!?

So… I think I was supposed to be happy and healthy and excited to be back in the land og ergo there, but I was already on my own back about not being as early as I’d wanted to be, and how do you really tell people in an upeat positive way that you are in a constant state of discomfort on the seriously precarious border of bone aching pain with the occasional everybody join in Burning hot ice pick to the face nerve pain. I don’t think I was able to give a good first day impression. But I was there and dammit I was going to kick some ergo butt!

Until that ergo butt sat on my head and squished me among other things that butts do.

I was in the ergo lab but 2 minutes before Caesar and I embarked on a long lovely journey around 2 very large buildings – in the rain – to the corner where we have to wait a rather long time – in the rain – for the Beep-Beap noise and the white blinky walky person to let us know we can cross the first (of two) streets that will get us closer – in the rain – to the building (two buildings down from the corner and only one floor up) where our very nice dry warm client was happy to see us and to whom we imparted great ergo wisdom and made her happy and hopeful and then we left and had to follow the whole treppid path back to the ergo lab where we could sit down for a mome? Have a sip of water? A spoonfull of gerber’s banana goop? NOOOOOOOOOOO Where we stood for a moment and drip dried, took a deep breath, and got to see our next clients.

Here’s where I have blog guilt. I really don’t know who reads this, and please know that anything I say is mostly me trying to vent and I probably don’t mean half of it…and I am going to be wrong in so many ways the PC police will roll their eyes at me…but I write what happens and I am going to write and hopefully get some feedback regarding my second evaluation. We will call him William. William arrived ontime in our building (from a block away). I turned to greet him, but was immediately more than concerned, The way he stood there…not moving, not even looking around. I think the whole trip took 50 times more out of him than he was prepared for. I didn’t know how to proceed, so I asked if I could get him anything. He was standing in the middle of the lab, stock still, with a pained look on his face, and he was panting and brearing very heavily and he was sweating…a lot. A wet paper towel would be nice he says. So I dash (guess I can dash now) to the nearest restroom halfway across the building to get wet paper towels and some dry ones just in case.

William was still standing there when I got back. He used the damp paper towels on his face and sat down. I immediately knew that our standard chair was way too small for him. So here’s what I have not mentioned.  He is extremely unhealthily obese and that’s the only word I can use for it because it is textbook.  And all I want to do is help him, but he’s having so much trouble talking because he’s still out of breath 10 minutes later from that walk. I ask if he would like some water. Yes that would be nice. Ice or no? Ice please. Another dash (In my wet pants of joy and comfort) to the cafe for ice water and NOW…Now we can do the ergo evaluation. But what is that smell? I have been cursed with a super sensitive nose, and after Dr. Li fixed my deviated septum, well, it got a sensitive promotion. And that new ultra sensitive “I must have been a hunting dog in my last life” sense of smell was not feeling compatible with William’s natural body odor. This is not rare. I meet people every day whose scents I’d like to stay back from. I have even had to hire other professionals on occasion to evaluate someone who wore scents that made my throat contract. But William had not put this scent on. This scent was his own. I have a very good friend whose breath I am not fond of. I don’t know why. It’s the way he is and it’s not offensive, it just pokes my ulfactory senses the wrong way. I have a very very good close friend who is practically family and there is something he does when he is masticating (that’s chewing for you who thought I was being gross) that makes me eat in a different room. I dunno. I guess he’s okay with it because it’s not him…it’s my reaction to him…

Do I need psychological help? I hate hearing people chew. ugh. Makes me sometimes throw up. now don’t get any ides. OOh! Now I know how to make Shelby spew. Tequila is much more pleasant on the front end if you’re going to do that. I’m not inviting you to do this.

I am inviting you to help me figure out the strong emotions I had while working with William. I wanted to take care of him. I wanted to know why he was like that. I wanted to figure out if I could do ANYTHING to brighten his day which seemed full of huge amounts of effort expended just to be there. I wanted to know what it was and why I was so averse to his smell.

That being said, I got William another glass of water so he could prepare for the trek back to his office. I almost wanted to go get my car and drive him over. I kept thinking about the jerk parking job though and how William wouldn’t be able to get into my car so I would have to pull it out and then pull it around and give him a ride those 2 blocks…but then here’s where I am even more of a bitch. He was sweating so much and it smelled like it did that I was afraid my car would smell like that nd then I would have to drive home in wet weather with that. Bitch. Bitch. Bitch. I guess I’m not a real nice person. Just a nice one. Should I have offered him a ride?

Next stop: Dr. Li. Dr. LI oh, Dr. Li…There was a song on the soundtrack of Stand By Me that I sing when I think of my doctor…Mr. Li Mr. Li…Oh Mr. li! Mr. Li Mr. Li…Oh! Mr. Li!!!!! I walked into my 1pm appointment and was greeted with big smiled and complimments regarding how I look and one person said it didn’t even look like I had surgery…and I wanted to say “Now, let’ shoot for FEELING like I haven’t had surgey” but I didn’t want her to take it wrong.

I sat in the Li chair and waited only a few moments before Dr Li. POPPED into my room. He did. He did a little POP entrance. It was cute. And he said I was still swollen in the jowels a little (good to hear since I think I would like a not so fluffy face) and then he said “You look great! You have a glow…” and I said “I have a tan. I went to Mexico” and he said in his insolent kid voice “_I_ wanted to be the cause of your glow!!! I want to have something to do with that. So I immediately corrected and said “Oh yes, if it weren’t for you, I would nevber have gone. Because of you I was able to go to Mexico without my cpap machine and breathe on my ow,” He said proudly “That’s right.” He’s cute.

We reviewed where things stand with the othodontia. He stuck his favorite tools the long necked q tip into my mouth and made some uh huh grunting noises. He told me to do jaw opening exercises. I said I wasn’t sweating as much in my sleep as I had been and he said sometimes your body does weird things while adjusting and drugs can play a role (though I have been off any prescription drugs for weeks now and I was still waking up all ucky sweaty) and I said I still scream at night…and he got a twinkle in his eye and said “I’m not going to touch that.”

hahahahaha

Well, I do still scream at night. Hopefully that will go away. I also found out when I got home and PASSED out after some of my friend Nu’s stellar broccoli cheese soup) that I was wrong. The sweating when I sleep is definitely still around.

I will leave you with my favorite part of my meeting with Dr. Li.

Dr. Li: The swelling will go down and your facial features will sharpen up.

me: It doesn’t help that I’ve gained a lot of weight.

Dr Li (without missing a beat): YEAH you have!!!

Oh, Dr. Li. I shake my head…and I still thank you thank you thank you for saving my life and giving me a new one…which will involve a diet plan when I can chew food again. Yeah! I hear losing weight is possible when you sleep at night. SCORE!!!

This entry was posted on Monday, February 26th, 2007 at 11:53 pm and is filed under Sleep Apnea. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can skip to the end and leave a response. Pinging is currently not allowed.