Shelby Cass's Weblog

Tis I, Shelby the piggy.  
Recipe for said attraction:  
1. Baby food (or something just as pureed) 
2. Tea spoon. No, not a tsp teaspoon…a tea spoon. A little itty bitty thing that you can only hold with your third finger and thumb while all the other fingers hover daintily in the air above the tiny tool. 
3. Braces 
4. Bands on braces to prevent mouth from opening 
5. Extreme hunger 
 
Get massive amount of goop on tiny tiny spoon. Bring spoon towards mouth (be sure to poise all unused fingers). Make fish lips. Suck food off spoon. Don’t bother wiping in between bites. Accumulate food on chin that you can neither see nor feel (did I mention your chin should be numb?). Repeat until food from serving container is all over your face. 
 
Have fun! 
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Nathalie came over yesterday bearing gardenias (how I do love that woman!) and I hijacked her into a trip to the baby food aisle at Safeway. She talked me into trying the meat in a bottle. Even after eating some last night I am still hesitant, but with some salt and pepper I got about 1/3 bottle down. It also turns out I like things with banana in them. Something I NEVER knew. Maybe because it’s real banana? I really dislike banana FLAVORED things. 
 
This morning, strained some cream of wheat through the bands and braces. I can open my mouth wide enough for an itty bitty baby spoon with just a dab of goop. Lovely, lovely goop.  
 
Baby twosies sweet potatoes rock. Pudding cups are a tad thick for me still. And I LOVE my water pick. I would not be subjecting my braces to life as a strainer if I didn’t know I could blast things out of my mouth like the dentist I am glad I’m not. 
 
I’m very very tired. I think I rival the cats in number of hours logged asleep. I wasn’t eating enough (by half or more) to heal all this bone trauma stuff, so I think getting food in the house I actually want to taste is going to be very good for me. 
 
Also got a can of my friend Jennifer’s Chocolate Gravy. Named after her grandpa Red, “Red’s Chocolate Gravy” is supposed to be a Texas treat. Well, I’m all about gravy substance these days, so I’m predicting a west coast treat migration. 
 
cheers! 
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Those of you who know me, know that cheese is life. I will do anything for cheese. Maybe I am half mouse. Well, in any case, this whole sweet Boost Apple Juice Milk Shake thing has not been cutting it for me. I’ve been craving FLAVOR. I NEED flavor! So last night, in absolute desperation, I raided the fridge and drank (warning, not for the weak stomached) all the dill pickle juice and all the juice from two cans of black olives. mmmm salty heavenly goodness! I immediately emailed Court’s phone (He was at Macworld) requesting more dill pickles and more black olives. I also requested: LIQUID CHEESE. I was thinking queso. 
 
I found a piece of american cheese in teh fridge. The individually wrapped flat pieces that you can break into perfect little squares…and that’s what I did: I broke it into little quares, dipped each square in enchilada sauce, squoze it through the few mm I can open my jaws, and voila! Instant mini enchiladas! I used to tell people when I was very little that I was half Japanese and half Mexican (because I loved Mexican food so much I thought my stomach must be from there). True story. Ask my mom. 
 
Court brought me Cheddar Cheese Soup. I am so happy. 
 
I love cheeeeeeeese. 
 
The guy at Domino’s knows this. 
 
peace out! 
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Today is Thursday. 2 weeks and 2 days after the day of Surge. I dream about food. I salivate a lot. My stummy growls. No more liquid! I want a pizza!!!!! *sulk* 
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It’s 6:35am. I think my server will post this entry as being at 8:35am. Interesting…and vaguely annoying. Oh well, I’m over it. 
 
My chin hurts. A lot. I need meditation help. I want to get away from it but then I hear everything around, and I feel everything…the placement of my pillow…I think that learning this stuff before surgery would have been a very very good idea. As it is, I think I only detach from my body when the only other alternative is going bonkers. Hm. 
 
I took PILLS! I woke up in pain…say 7.5 and rising, and NEEDED to get drugs in asap. The liquid motrin: squirt. The Oxy: squirt. But the idea of crushing pills…then having to taste them…well, I opened my jaw and jammed the non-aspirin in. I kinda of got water down the wrong tube so that was another reminder to SLOW DOWN…and I haven’t had the um…will…to do the same with the aspirin, so it’s just hanging out on the table. 
 
I never thought I’d appreciate liquid meds. Don’t tell anyone. 
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In case you wanted to know and/or read from the beginning, my first sleep apnea entry here was on February 4, 2006. It was about Gonzo, my CPAP machine. I’m working on a new template (read:I look and play, Court has to make it work) that should make it much easier just to see the Sleep Apnea stuff on it’s own. 
 
15 minutes til my Oxy! Highlight of my day. Pretty sad. I’m over it. 
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Today was not the best of days. I was unable to keep my pain below a 6 most of the day. Granted, a 6 is better than a 9, but for some reason, my body doesn’t keep in mind that it could be worse, it just decides it hurts and complains. How does that work? 
 
I have a hard time with the number/pain scale because of the kidney stones and such. So I just go by the following: 
1-2 no big. Wouldn’t make a Dr’s appointment to get it checked if I didn’t know what it was. 
3-4 bugs me a little but I can distract myself away from it and function. 
5 Distracting and a little worrisome. Can I do/take something to make it better? 
6-7 Beginning to scatter my brain a little. I definitely don’t function as well. 
8 Please make it stop 
9 Non function. Making little whimper noises makes it feel better. 
10 shoot me in the head 
 
I am currently taking 3mL Oxycodone every 2 hours. 1 Extra strength non-asprin acetaminophen (500 mg), 2 regular strength asprin (750 mg) and 400 mg Children’s Liquid Motrin every 4 hours.  
 
I am 2 hours into my last motrin, non-asprin and asprin doses and 1 hour into my last Oxycodone and I just took one more 500mg of non-asprin 30 minutes ago because I just couldn’t get below a 6. I would say I am not at a 5 and there’s a possibility that I may be able to catch a wink in 1 hour after my next Oxy dose. 
 
Since I cannot talk on the phone, it has a new job. It is 5 alarm clocks. Today I did get a call on my phone though and since I thought it was an alarm, I opened the phone and tried to disable the alarm. It was pretty funny because I was looking at the phone for a second thinking “That’s weird, it usually says RedStuff, why would it have a 415 #?” Oops! And I had already picked up the call, so I had to try to communicate to the unknowing caller that I cannot move my jaw. Turns out it was one of my clients needing ergo assistance, so we moved our conversation to email so I could tell her I won’t be ergo-ing anyone for a while. That kind of sucked, since I absolutely love what I do…but I cannot imagine anyone wants to deal with my ergo-pantomime and get charged hourly for it. 
 
S: (Look at Client and shake head sadly) 
C: Am I doing something wrong? 
S: (Nod head emphatically) 
C: What? 
S: (Big arm motions) 
C: You want a hug? 
 
My cat snores. I hope she doesn’t have sleep apnea. She _is_ a Himalayan, so she has a squish face and not as much of a law as Mommy cat. She’s not getting this surgery. I may be done paying mine off by the time I’m 40. 
 
Pain at about a 4. This is great. In 50 minutes I will take 3mL Oxy, play some Sudoku, and hopefully catch some zzz’s. Court says the dark circles under my eyes were better today. That’s nice to hear. Maybe I won’t have to spend so much money on concealer. Bummer for the cosmetics companies…bonus for my wallet! 
 
Copyrite 2007 Shelby Cass. All Rights Reserved 

So, I have been welcomed into Sleepnet.com by Sandman and hope to help anyone going through this with the information I provide. I think Sleepnet.com is a wonderful site. I’ve been reading it for a long time…ever since my diagnosis. 
 
So if you are here because of Sleepnet, welcome to my MMA blog. I hope you find something interesting here. 
 
Sweet dreams! 
 
Shelby 
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Just a quick note to say that I am absolutely amazed at the results of this surgery and I am nowhere near all the way recovered. 
 
Court joked (I hope he was joking) that he missed my CPAP machine and that he has been turning it on at night just to hear it’s familiar Darth Vader sound. I have been living on the chaise lounge ever since I got home. I have 5 alarms on my phone so that I can take drugs before the pain takes me and I don’t want to wake Court with that stuff. Especially since a lot of times I am in pain when the alarm rings which means I don’t actually move to take the drugs, I just wallow. 
 
It’s strange how my body just stops functioning when I have pain, especially when the pain epicenter is my head. I also think it’s strange to get tired and go to sleep…WITHOUT drugs. 
 
I was on Prozac before my surgery. If I didn’t take it, it became quite obvious within a few days. I would be really moody and emotional and pretty much an unreasonable terror at times, so I never stopped taking it on purpose. Sometimes i would just forget, like on weekends or vacations…until I looked down at my hands and found someone’s limb that I had torn from their body… 
 
I have not had Prozac since the day before my surgery. I also have not had a Provigil which is the drug I had to take to even motivate me out of bed or off the couch. I feel like a million bucks. A million broken bucks, but a million just the same. 
 
This is awesome. 
 
One gripe: No one told me I was going to have scars on my face after this surgery. I didn’t know until I woke up that there were incisions made on each side of my face to get the tools in. It’s lucky I have such a spotty dotty face, but I’m not too thrilled about extra spots. I guess it wouldn’t have mattered if they’d told me pre-surgery. It’s not something that would have made me change my mind whether or not to have it. However, that being said, I would have liked to have known. 
 
Maybe I won’t scar up so badly now that my sleep is actually restorative. 
 
Come on LIFE! This is exciting. 
 
Copyrite 2007 Shelby Cass. All Rights Reserved 
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